doo doo doo

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."
jokes4all.net

haha

A sales manager said "I need someone responsible for this job."
A person raised their hand up and said "I'm the one you're looking for, whenever something goes wrong, everyone says I am always responsible."

:) haha

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart.

The music on the bus is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry. That's when you remember you've been listening to your ipod.
jokes4all.net

lalala hehe!

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"

"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
jokes4all.net

hehe :D

Touring the city was a tour guide and a bus full of elderly people. 30 minutes into the tour, the guide feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns back only to find an elderly woman offering a hand-full of peanuts. With gratitute, he accepts and thanks the old woman.

Another 15 minutes and the same thing happens. This happens around 4 times. As the guide is offered again for the fifth time. He is now wondering: "Thank you, but why do you buy the peanuts if you do not eat them?", and the granny answers: "We just like the chocolate on them!"
jokes4all.net

lol! :)

Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall: "Hi there, how is it going?"

Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I say: "Not bad ..."

Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?"

I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back to Colorado ..."

Then I hear the person say all flustered: "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."

jokes4all.net

LOL! XD

-During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor "a normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"- jokes4all.net